Simply by sitting down and talking to each other, say Aunty Barbara Clarke OAM and her husband Uncle Tom Clarke.

"I just advise everyone to talk things out and not rush into separating. We do it still," said Aunty Barb, adding that the couple, in their 80s, now talk about 'who's going first'.

And they've had plenty of challenges to talk over during the years, including the loss of one of their 10 children, an experience many marriages do not survive.

The couple were childhood sweethearts who grew up together in Purfleet. They moved to Taree in 1968 and bought a house for £7, a princely sum back then.

That was a major challenge in itself, as an indigenous couple moving into a predominantly white community would have been in the 60s.

The house was only two bedrooms and Uncle Tom, a builder, renovated it himself with the help of some mates, the local Apex club and a Christian group.

In return, Uncle Tom and Aunty Barb gave back by helping build houses in Bowraville and Casino.

The couple have been living in Wingham for the past 26 years and are much loved and well respected elders and residents of the community.

Aunty Barb received her OAM in 1977, the first given to a woman in the Manning Valley, for her devoted work with children in Purfleet for over 20 years, and she and Uncle Tom have opened their home to look after two ill aunties and three foster children over the years.

And now they have many grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great children to dote over as well.

The couple also 'do their own thing', perhaps another reason they have managed to stay married for so long!

Uncle Tom potters around the house and goes on regular fishing trips with the Aged Care Service at Purfleet, while Aunty Barb spends her time out and about.

"I just go help other people if they want help with appointments or anything," said Aunty Barb. "I love helping people, especially old people. I've got a lot of friends."